No, no, no, no.

I realize I am a terrible blogger–a very self-centered style it seems, sorry to those who put up with it! (Love you mucho)– but I´m learning, and I´ll be changing (hopefully successfully) the way this blog is working. This´ll be the last personal (as in “I feel I feel me me me profound profound”) entry, not to worry.

I meant to say that I was worried about this particular family. Even if every family is dysfunctional it pains me seeing it and knowing about it. I wish I could help out in more ways that being a temporary distraction (and even as a distraction I´m pretty lame– I wish I were better at telling/remembering jokes).

I´m not looking for any personal development. What’s lame is that I spent many weeks convincing myself that “learning about myself” was what I was doing by putting myself in miserable situations last year, but it was a foolish way of seeing it. Not to mention it was a copout in many typical conversations–
“How’s Harvard?”
“It’s okay.”
“Just okay? Come on, it’s Harvard!”
“Oh so it’s kind of rough, but I’m learning a lot about myself.”
“Oh that’s good.”

So nowadays I’ve grown rather sick of that concept. Like most things, if you’re talking about it, it isn’t happening, and if you’re expecting it in a certain place, it won’t happen that way either. Talking about personal development is like talking about breathing, only much more pretentious. Oh, I’m full of pretentions, it’s a source of a lot of shame.

Moving on.

I need to start planning a few trips! Despite being small Asian girl I always prefered biting off from the rugged-adventure pie (I have no idea where this metaphor came from) and I’m getting antsier by the minute in Peru, where I am treated always to the finest hotels and the finest cuisines. I’m extremely extremely grateful to my host father for being so generous but at the same time, not only am I pampered guilty, but I don’t even have the taste for all this luxury! Maybe someone else in my group could have appreciated it more. Honestly, my S/4.50 lunches taste just as good (better to be honest) than the S/200 lunches my host family takes me to, and I always feel much better after the cheaper lunches.

I miss the feeling of my Asian budgeting. I am dying for a hostel. It’s what I imagined I would be doing here.

So my resolution for now is to go on a weekend budget trip. I did pay 20 flipping dollars for a LonelyPlanet, after all.

Update about Machu Picchu and Cusco to follow after I get Internet back at the house. Currently on a borrowed laptop.